Helping Your Child Navigate Online Influencers

For many young people, online influencers are part of everyday life.

They may follow people who talk about fitness, fashion, gaming, sport, beauty, money, relationships, humour, politics, lifestyle or motivation. Some influencers can be positive, creative and inspiring. They can help young people learn new skills, discover interests and feel connected to wider communities.

But not all online influence is helpful.

Some content can create pressure, insecurity or unrealistic expectations. Some influencers make extreme views sound normal. Some promote unhealthy ideas about success, masculinity, beauty, relationships, money or status. Others use controversy because it gets attention, clicks and followers.

As parents and carers, it can be hard to keep up. New names, trends, platforms and phrases appear quickly. You may not know who your child is watching or why they find them appealing.

The good news is that you do not need to know everything about every influencer to support your child. What matters most is helping them think critically about what they see, hear and share online.

Why influencers matter

Influencers can feel more personal than celebrities. They speak directly to the camera. They share opinions, routines, advice and stories. They may feel relatable, funny, confident or successful.

For teenagers, who are still working out who they are and where they fit, this can be powerful.

An influencer might shape how a young person thinks about their body, their friendships, their future, their identity or their place in the world. They may also affect what young people see as normal — how people speak to each other, how relationships work, what success looks like, or what it means to be respected.

This influence is not always obvious. A child may not say, “This person has changed how I think.” But repeated messages can slowly shape attitudes and behaviour.

Stay curious, not critical

If you hear your child mention an influencer you are worried about, try not to begin with criticism. Saying “That person is awful” or “You shouldn’t be watching that” may shut the conversation down.

Instead, start with curiosity.

You might ask:

“What do you like about them?” “What kind of things do they talk about?” “Do you think they are mostly joking, or do they mean it?” “Do you agree with them, or do you just find them entertaining?” “How do you feel after watching their content?”

These questions help your child reflect, rather than simply defend the person they follow.

It is also helpful to watch a short clip together if your child is willing. You do not need to approve of everything. The aim is to understand what your child is being exposed to and how they are interpreting it.

Help them spot the message underneath

Influencer content is not always direct. Sometimes the message sits underneath the entertainment.

A video might seem funny, but underneath it may suggest that kindness is weakness. A fitness account might seem motivational, but underneath it may promote shame about bodies. A lifestyle influencer might seem successful, but underneath it may suggest that money, appearance or status are what make someone valuable.

Help your child ask:

“What is this person trying to make me think?” “What are they trying to sell?” “Who benefits if I believe this?” “Does this make me feel better, or worse?” “Would I be happy if someone spoke like this to someone I care about?”

These questions are not about banning everything. They are about building awareness.

Young people need to understand that online content is designed to hold attention. Strong opinions, arguments, shock, humour and outrage are often rewarded because they keep people watching.

Talk about confidence, not control

Some influencers appeal to young people because they seem confident and certain. They offer simple answers to complicated problems. They may tell young people how to be respected, how to avoid being hurt, how to become successful, or how to deal with rejection.

For a teenager who feels unsure, this can be attractive.

Rather than simply saying, “Don’t listen to that,” it can help to talk about what real confidence looks like.

Real confidence is not about putting others down. It is not about controlling relationships. It is not about pretending not to care. It is not about needing attention from strangers online.

Real confidence can look like:

being kind without needing approval, admitting when you are wrong, walking away from drama, respecting boundaries, asking for help, treating people well even when you disagree.

These conversations help young people compare online confidence with real-life strength of character.

Challenge harmful ideas calmly

There may be times when your child repeats something you find worrying. It might be about girls, boys, relationships, race, sexuality, money, appearance, violence, mental health or success.

Try to stay calm enough to explore it.

You might say:

“That’s an interesting view. Where did you hear it?” “What do you think that would feel like for the other person?” “Is that always true, or is it more complicated?” “What evidence would change your mind?” “Does that idea help people, or does it hurt people?”

The goal is not to win the argument in one conversation. The goal is to keep your child thinking.

If the conversation becomes heated, pause and return to it later. Teenagers are more likely to reflect when they do not feel attacked.

Set boundaries where needed

Curiosity matters, but boundaries still have a place.

If content is harmful, frightening, sexualised, extreme, hateful, exploitative or seriously affecting your child’s mood, behaviour or wellbeing, it is reasonable to step in. This may mean changing privacy settings, reviewing accounts they follow, using parental controls, setting screen-free times, or agreeing that certain content is not appropriate.

Try to explain the reason behind the boundary.

“I’m not trying to embarrass you or control everything you watch. My job is to help keep you safe and help you think carefully about what is influencing you.”

Boundaries are more effective when they are calm, clear and connected to care.

Balance the online world with real-life connection

One of the best protections against unhealthy online influence is strong real-life connection.

Young people need trusted adults, positive friendships, healthy routines, interests, hobbies and places where they feel they belong. When children feel seen and valued offline, they may be less likely to rely on online voices for identity, confidence or approval.

Encourage activities that help your child feel capable and connected: sport, creativity, music, clubs, volunteering, family time, faith groups, youth groups, or simply time with people who make them feel good about themselves.

This is not about filling every spare minute. It is about making sure the online world is not the only place shaping their sense of who they are.

Final thought

Influencers are not going away. For young people, online voices will continue to be part of how they learn, laugh, explore and understand the world.

Our role as adults is not to panic or dismiss everything they watch. It is to help them become thoughtful, questioning and confident enough to recognise what is helpful and what is not.

Stay curious. Ask questions. Watch with them when you can. Challenge harmful ideas calmly. Set boundaries where needed.

Most importantly, keep the conversation open.

Your child does not need you to know every influencer. They need you to help them think about influence itself — who they listen to, why it matters, and how it shapes the person they are becoming.